so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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