my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
