he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dignity is for republicans.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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