she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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