A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You ate ashes out of my bong
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
