help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
