you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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