Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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