I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
