Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
