My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
