You work out of a Hotel?
Me too!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
