you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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