we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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