is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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