Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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