it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
