i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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