Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
