Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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