Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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