My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
