Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize