I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
