Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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