Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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