You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
