Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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