Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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