It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
