Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
