so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize