Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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