i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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