Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
