Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
