is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
