Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
