He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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