my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
