High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
