Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Did we literally take a cab across the street
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
