i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize