I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
