"it" just moved
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
