she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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