I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
A+ Viking dick
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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