Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We need a shit load of segways right now
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
