Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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