The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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