just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
