Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
