kristin has been a bad kristin
found the other keg... it's in the tree
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
