You just made me feel so damn special
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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