maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
