I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
