So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
