dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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