She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
