Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
