I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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