How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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