Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize