Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
