Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
